i'm tired of YA (and how it's glorifying bad behavior)

Here's a random vlog for y'all. (it's a sort of continuation of this post here)
If you saw it up a couple days ago on youtube that's because I'm really busy this weekend and never looked to see if I could schedule videos.....

But it's a random rant. I say 'uh' a lot and start talking about Unwind + Twenty One Pilots. I complain most of the time. I just wanted to talk about this and thought a video would be cool.

But it's fun. And I apologize for me being awkward on camera and being scattered-- I've been really busy and filmed this in between various things.

(If I do more videos this summer, I promise they'll be better.)

(and when I say I like complaining, I DON'T LIKE BEING A SCROOGE, but I like to say what I'm thinking and get it out. Opinions guys. I need to get my opinions out.) 

Tell me-- DO YOU SEE THE SAME ISSUES? I guess I could be a little picky. But what issues do you see? Do you want to write things that have a purpose instead of sensational fluff?  Not just 'oh a good message' but something that isn't empty. Lyrics that mean nothing
We were gifted with thought -- this applies to writing and yes, another tøp related thing. Talk to me.

of books. and writing. and much fangirling.

Ah. So I've seen this tag floating around the internet (#voicesofYA tag here) and decided to use it. I wasn't tagged but hello I'm here doing it and you can't stop me. + this was about books and I haven't talked about books a while? Like let's go!!!

[the writing]


I guess the fact that I'm a young adult/teen myself. The characters are fairly relatable (if they aren't complete jerks).....


I honestly can't relate to too much of what most YA characters do. I don't go on journey's to save my city nor have I ever done something that would make me the 'chosen one'. (also-- I don't sit around drinking, kissing, fighting dragons, or doing normal teen things. I hide inside with books.) 


[me being skeptical]

And the community. YA Bookworms are amazing. You can chat with them about what you loved, what you hated, and you can find new books to read. 


Hm. I feel like my process changes with each idea I have. And each new book I do comes with new knowledge from writing to first draft. 

Like when I wrote The Sand Song I wrote scattered and I learned that it was a stupid idea for me personally. So it has changed a lot. But pretty much. 

1) Hannah gets an idea / has an old idea from pinterest or a notebook 
2)She plots half the book 
3)Hannah starts writing 
4)Gets stuck 
5)Hannah cries
6)Then she plots the other half. Pins things and writes the rest. 

(in between all that is much screaming and anger and laughing and such)


Actual writing like writing books. About two years. (My first idea was a cliche knock off of a fantasy book in late 2014) 

And the journey. A few months ago I would have told you that I wanted to publish as soon as I'm done editing and send it out everywhere-- but right now.... right now I've really been thinking. And I feel like I just want to enjoy this time. The here and now. Yes, I would love to be published one day. but right now as a sophomore (Junior later this year) and a creative kid-- I want to enjoy what I write and being a creative without ties. 

                              WHAT DO YOU NEED TO WRITE? COFFEE? MUSIC?

Ah. First I need a nice space where it's cold enough for me to wear sweaters/flannels because I'm comfortable that way. Most likely I'll grab a mug of tea if I've got the time (chai or cinnamon). I write best late at night-- like when I should be sleeping. 
The there are my book playlists. Whatever I'm writing I'll try to get something on that gets me in the zone. Like sci-fi music for so-and-so or this song for this scene. Music is really important in creativity. 
(and sometimes I'll sit, listen to twenty one pilots and play my uke while staring at the cursor) 


(ah the dreaded questions um) 

I guess it would be to write what you what to read. That does sound kind of selfish in a way, but if you write something because that's what is popular or it's what your writer friend thinks is cool-- that's not cool. Create what you want to create. It doesn't matter what the world wants the writer/author to write. (and I plan on doing a post on this at some point) 

[the books] 


Oh man. So.....

Heartless - Marissa Meyer 
Firefight- Brandon Sanderson 
Three- Ted Dekker 

I DID NOT SEE THESE THINGS COMING LIKE either I'm oblivious to everything or they are super good books. Obviously I'm going with the second option. These were 'what the heck is happening and did my eyes fall out of head or did this actually happen' plot twists. Man. I really want to re-read these now. 


I AM SUPER EXCITED FOR LIKE 394240 BOOKS BUT I'll just share three. Three is a nice number. 

The Evaporation of Sofi Snow / ANYTHING BY MARY WEBER is something I will read. I am super excited because it's sci-fi and I love sci-fi. Also that cover. *dies* 

Warcross / I'm excited about this and at the same time kind of wondering if it'll actually be super good. But it looks weird and thats cool. And video games yes!!! And the cover? I'm not so sure about it...... I NEED TO SEE IT IN PERSON.

Renegades / Marissa Meyer. That's all I have to say. Oh and superheroes and that cover is so pretty I died. (I have died twice this year from book covers #don'tjudgeme) 


I really can't answer this...... 

There are so many YA books that have super cool ideas and worlds for different reasons. I would need to give a large explanation for each....

I would have to do a whole post on these. So skip-- 

[i really like this]


I have a whole lot of favorite quotes-- but in a very Hannah way, I'm going throw a few quotes from the Unwind Dystology up here. (what's a YA book post without mentioning Shusterman?) 

[if you didn't know about my love for Shusterman books then stay around longer. I'll convert you.)

“In a perfect world everything would be either black or white, right or wrong, and everyone would know the difference. But this isn't a perfect world. The problem is people who think it is.” 

“I'd rather be partly great than entirely useless.”

“Nice socks.” 

“The sad truth about humanity...is that people believe what they're told. Maybe not the first time, but by the hundredth time, the craziest of ideas just becomes a given.” 
(okay. I only to Unwholly. Honestly, I need to do a whole post/series on the Unwind Dystology.) 

(I'll do that this summer.) 


I want books to become movies but I hate when they change things that didn't need to be changed. Yeah, you have to make changes for the adaption but some things are unnecessary. 


Of course Unwind (it would be creepy and I might be creeped out but it would be amazing). 
The Lunar Chronicles. Out of Time Trilogy. 

There are so many...... (also Scythe is being made into a movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

So let's talk books!!!!!!! WHAT BOOKS HAVE YOU BEEN ENJOYING? (I've been reading crazy-- like I'm 32 books ahead for my goal.) 

hey guys i've been busy // creative endeavors #1

I guess I've been a little absent. (and this is a numbered post so if I want to do more creative endeavor things I can-- so there.)

I've been busy with a whole lot of things-- books, and school and catching up and moving ahead. A lot of good things going on this summer that require a whole ton of work on top of some school and projects.
I have ideas for blog posts but I can't seem to get them out and when I want to, something pops up and bam. There's no time and I'm left with another week going by. So I'm going to be a little absent this month.

[i'm sorry, i had to]
But you know camp nano and school has really killed your brain when you put a 0 where the o should be. You know. A lot of good things going on and I'm just really tired. (it didn't help that I got the stomach flu over the weekend and am still suffering from a bad cold ouch.)

Anyways-- this is just a random smoothie of things that I've been working on and things that have been inspiring me.

I've been listening to a whole ton of music. For days. Lot's of it. New bands like Typhoon (please go listen to them).
New releases from old favorites (Imagine Dragons, Paramore) and the things I keep on repeat.  I could go on about all those or-- you could go stalk my music.  That's the easier thing. It's all really inspiring and actually I'll share one with y'all.

This one is just fun and folky. It's an epic video that eventually ends up in space. Pretty cool. It's something that has really gone with my new secret project (more on that at the end). So I want to share the parallels and everything but-- I'll wait till you get all the details. (and honestly, I like keeping people in suspense.) These guys are like banjo/rock/folk space kids who have some really good stuff. Go check em out.

The Sand Song. This isn't something inspiring me since it is my own thing. I can do what I want. 
As is turns out for me-- I have to rewrite this beast. It's not really a beast... a mere 75k words and a whole lot of plot holes. Okay story time: I wrote this in about 3 months as my very first novel. When I was writing it I didn't plot. At all. All I had was this idea for a song, a girl, and some desert dystopia. As I wrote I skipped around like from chapter one to chapter seventeen to chapter three and so on. That's why it sucks now. Maybe other people can write scattered like that... but personally it drowns the plot and such. But I am really excited about it now.
Right now I'm piecing the plot back together. I'm starting on some of it throughout June and really going hardcore for July camp (for like the two weeks l will be able to participate due to traveling and mission trips). It has got a big renovation that is worthy of yelling 'MOVE THAT BUS.' (please tell me I'm not the only one who knows what that is from.) It has cool cars, a desert, monsters, and music. Pretty epic.

(and hopefully after this-- beta readers for the end of the year. I knowwwww I keep saying this and keep moving it)

Anyways here are some things I threw together:


For Nadine's #walk30days I've been taking some sporadic walks whenever I can fit one in. It really stimulates creativity and there are some pretty places to discover. I wish I could go more. I've done maybe three days? But it's fun and nice to go outside after a whole day immersed in education and writing.

Oh. And I might be seeing Switchfoot in concert this summer and it makes me so happy and gosh IT'S MOTIVATION FOR THE BAD DAYS. Just thinking about seeing them in concert againnnnnn. Also listening to a ton of Switchfoot. All the songs and just soaking in the sounds. This wasn't really a creative endeavors-- but I'm really excited. (Really really excited.)

That secret project that I've hinted at once is in the works. I promise I'll have something more to say about it soon. Like in June for sure. I just have some details to put together before........ but soon. But I'll give y'all the playlist and Pinterest board. Be happy with that.

I watched Rogue One for Star Wars day and it killed me + inspired me to go write more things and scribble out the stories. If you need inspiration go watch Rogue One. The music. The story. It is all amazing. (and I got sick like two hours after watching it and I wonder if it was a coincidence...... or not.)

Well this was a short update. I'm hoping to have one or two things this coming week if I can find the time. But I'm happy that summer is coming. (though I still have school to do. But there are cool things happening and bro I've got some creative things coming your way soon.)

my favorite space story that made me cry // happy star wars day

Heyo. All you Star Wars fans out there come gather 'round. All the people who geek over space and stuff come. I'm here to talk about one of my favorite movies. (This is spoiler city by the way. Leave if you haven't seen this movie) AND BY THE WAY HAPPY STAR WAYS DAY.

Yes yes yes.
Rogue One released in theaters in December. It came out on dvd a little over a month ago.
What am I doing here talking about it? (well it is Star Wars day May the forth (force) be with you and all)

I want to talk about one of my favorite stories.

I love Star Wars. Have I mentioned that already? Yes. I can say it again. Much love. I knew there was another movie coming out the year after to Force Awakens. I had no clue what it was about or when it took place but it was Star Wars yes. I wasn't going to miss out on it. If there's Stars Wars YAS I WILL BE THERE AS A LOYAL FAN.

I had watched the trailer a couple times (already loving the characters). I knew the basic plot: need plans, a team gets together and they go in and bam: planet saved and darkness defeated.
I had heard people had cried.... *ahem* bawled. So I expected some sad part(s).

I have never truely cried in a movie. Like I've teared up in emotional funeral scenes, people dying, and such. But that's tearing up.

Rogue One was a totally different story.

I wanted to lay on the floor and bawl. The last twenty minutes or so broke me. I couldn't even applaud at the end because
I had a new favorite movie and it had shocked me and stabbed me emotionally. It hurt in a good way.

I want to say Rogue One was a good movie. It really was.

But that is an understatement. 

Rogue One was the most fantastic, darn good story, and make you cry forever type of story that I had seen for a while. I was near sobbing and gosh. Heartbreaking. (also my brother was laughing at me as I sobbed over that beach scene. he obviously was not stabbed in the feels like I was.)

It wasn't about this heroine who goes, kicks butt, and gets the guy happily ever after. Jyn and Cassian died on a beach together and gosh that's a whole lot more powerful to me than some stupid love triangle angst and 'oh does he like me'. I cried. It hurt me. And that was fine. Stories are supposed the hurt sometimes. They don't have to be all triangles and end of the world anger with a side of selfish characters. (ohhhh yes the YA rant again.)

It didn't involve family drama and Skywalker issues. It wasn't about a smuggler or a princess. It wasn't all Darth Vader (though he did make an appearance and puns yes). Don't get me wrong-- I am Star Wars trash (like go down the garbage chute trash..... never mind) and LOVE the old movies with all that. I love love love love love all the movies. So much.
But that isn't what I needed right now.

This was the kind of story I wish I would have written. People hanging onto their last bit of hope, grit, ordinary people doing extraordinary things. It's the type of story I want to write as a creative person. Man. It just has so much good and it just stabbed me. I've said it stabbed me like 39200 times. And it's true.
 It was about ordinary people stepping up to the plate they were never asked to fill and doing what needed to be done. It was about people who weren't anything more than a mismatched group that was put together by our favorite kid. Cassian. It was a story about people laying down their lives for a larger cause. They all knew it could fail. They all knew that they all would most likely die in the fight. But it was worth it. It was worth being shot and shot and shot and dying on Scarif. I could talk about it forever.


This was a Star Wars story. A filler film. Something to keep the rabid fans happy while they were finishing up the story with the lightsabers and sith lords. Rogue One wasn't going to be about characters with this montage backstory and bam they can go save the world with a glowing sword and get the hot guy later. Real people doing the right thing for the right reasons.
It was a story with good themes and morals and all around just goodness. It got gritty and unpleasant. These people did what was right because (hello I'm captain obvious) IT WAS RIGHT.
I loved it for all these reasons. We need more stories like this. The stories that aren't all sunshine and yay let's live happily ever after. Rogue One was a slap in the face with reality. Things don't always end well. Sometimes you've got to sacrifice everything you have and save the dream.

“What do you know? We don't all have the luxury of deciding when and where we want to care about something. Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you? Now that you've got a stake in it, and - and - now that you don't have another life to go back to? Some of us live this Rebellion. I've been in this fight since I was six years old. You're not the only one who lost everything. Some of us just decided to do something about it.” ― Alexander FreedRogue One: A Star Wars Story

I could talk for a whole lot longer. Lol wait. Let's just talk about the characters for like two minutes. I promise this rant is almost over.

Jyn Erso. Star dust. She didn't need to be the girl every guy fought over and who had that knack for winning everything. She was vulnerable and courageous. She saw what needed to be done and did it. It didn't matter what it cost.
Cassian Andor. Cassian oh yes. He was the ordinary guy. He was the kid who did the stuff quietly with bravery and made a difference. He didn't have to be in the spotlight or have all this unwanted angst. He was Cassian and that was perfect.
Chirrut. This blind guy was the daredevil of the galaxies. He was blind and made jokes about it. He clung to the force and never let go even when he faced death, danger, and hardships. (a good life lesson for us as Christians just switch out the force.)
Baze. He stood by Chirrut and essentially died trying to get over to him. He deserves credit for this. Dying wth his friend. Standing by even when he knew he was gong to suffer for it.
K-2SO. Salty and sassy. He always had that percentage and prediction. He just made the whole movie better.

And last. Bodhi Rook. The imperial cargo pilot. He had anxiety. He was nervous and shaky. The fate of the Resistance was left in his hands when he had to connect that cord. It was hard. He fought through so many things and gosh. He's my hero. (I also think that they need a Bodhi Funko pop but that's a whole other talk. Seriously.)
[i can't breath now. his death killed me.]

(and if the movie would have ended any differently than how it did...... it honestly wouldn't have been as good.  beauty came from that. it came from the blood spilt on the sand as the green wave cloud came towards Jyn and Cassian. It came from Bodhi dying in his ship. It came from K-2SO helping get the plans. It came from Chirrut and Baze sacrificing to push the enemy back.)

Though John Williams didn't do the music it was still really good. The minute I watched the trailer for the first time, I instantly knew THAT IT WASNT JOHN WILLIAMS. (I am very picky and observant of these things) I was a little upset at first but guys the music it hurt me. In a good way.
Go listen to the soundtrack to celebrate this day. 


That's that.

The amazing story.

I leave you to just rant about Star Wars in the comments because that is obviously the cool thing to do. (And I'm re watching Rogue One tonight...... I hope I return alive)


May the Force (fourth) be with you all!
(oh and a bonus thing. if you want to cry follow this link. don't sue me.) 
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