april // we've made it this far, kid

[it's not summer but this is pretty. and it's already hot?]
HELLO ALL YOU CRAZY FRENS. Hey. It's May. I mean, May is like coming. It's around the corner and summer and all the things. It's been a crazy month (and all the camp nanoers said amen). 
But there's a (really long) post on what I've been up to this month and such. 

And this is a random piece. Jon Foreman songs are the best. No arguments. This one is beautiful and man I love it a lot. 

I feel like I never have anything much in this section. (I promise I do things outside of reading lol)

[i eat. and watch the spiderman trailer]

My (very amazing and talented) friend had her musical/show at the beginning of the month and it was amazing. She has a post all about it on her blog. 

Um. School? I'll have some classes through the summer to catch up and stuff. Not fun but hey-- it;s necessary.

I've been really tired. I need to sleep more but there are so many things to do in a day/week and like how can I sleep. But I just really need a long nap, some Bastille, and my book edited without tears.

We went to the beach last week short notice. I got to write a bit and it was really sandy and hot. I mean obviously beaches are sandy and hot. But man, I hate sweating. I need to move to Antartica or something. Also, our adorable dog (who drives me nuts sometimes) who was just looking cute and I don't think I've ever shared a photo of him on here. His name is Henry. 

I think I did pretty good considering that there was camp and school and just the busyness of life.

I had a random post. A letter to you all that was for fighting. Keep fighting. 

I had a rant about YA books. Okay... it was me complaining but I wasn't complaining if that makes any sense? 

Oh, look new music. Just some random stuff I've hoarded. 

This was a post mostly about Les Mis and LOTR. And how stories are powerful.     

      As always, Ms. Marvel was funny and adorable and just amazing. House by Ted Dekker was creepy and no I don't think I could handle the movie seeing as that I screamed with the trailer. The Night Circus was sooooooo amazing and good and the aesthetics and the dream-like quality. Lyrical and just so pretty. And mind bending. 
      I re-read Unwind because it is just the best thing ever. 

      Ah the creative world. 

      SO I STILL HAVE 5k left till I win camp send help. I should be able to knock it out Saturday. I think I'll have the whole thing (about 90k) done by July. Maybe sooner but the reason it's July is because.....

      ...... I have had an idea for this thing that would be (mostly likely) a summer project. It would be something that eventually you all could consume. (I say consume because I'm being vague)
      I just got some friends to help me out and next month I should have more info. All you need to know is that it's YA sci-fi. We will be working on it this summer hopefully and it'll be really cool/exciting if it all works out. (ask me what it is all you want but my lips are sealed.) You stalk it here on my write club. (and the title is subject to change if somethings happen during the thing you know) Anyways-- that was vague. 
      and The Sand Song. Ugh. After going through a bit more, I realized I will have to rewrite and that seems like the worst shoot me. Anyways. It's going to grow into a beautiful story. It was just written in a choppy way and needs work.

      Hopefully, after the rewrite, it'll need a tiny bit more work and bam beta readers. Maybe? I know I said June-ish at the beginning of the year, but now it looks more like the fall. But that's good, right? School will be starting and you can have something to read...... I guess.

      I've also been entertaining some ideas-- the most prominent being a steampunk murder in London. This would most likely be for Nanowrimo. It'll be exciting. I've been doing some research and a historical novel with that steampunk twist would be really cool. I love historical.  I'm just pinning all the things really. All my searches are 'Victorian England aesthetics' 'steampunk aesthetics' and so on. And murder. Please, don't judge me.

    [i just hope i don't end up like this] 

    Ah, I've been loving so many things. (especially Typoon. Just go listen to all the things.) 

    The next few chapters of Einarr. I only plotted the beginning-ish and I need more plot. I have the general idea but I need it down in stone. Don't mind me-- I'm just here scribbling away. 

    Ah my super-secret-project-that-needs-me-to-nail-down-a-few-more-details-before-I-blab-to-you-all. I'm writing the thing now. *gasp* OH COURSE IT HAS ME WRITING INVOLVED DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO MAKE A MOVIE WITH ME ACTING AND FALLING OVER LIKE A CLUMSY KID? Nope. I should be done with the writing portion soon-ish and then the good stuff. But I've got my people pulled together and yes. It'll be good. And I have used 'ish' like three times. 

    Honestly, I'm really uncertain about some things. 

    Since I won't have The Sand Song ready for beta readers this summer, I will make it up to you all by maybe putting the first chapter of Einarr on Wattpad after I can edit it and/or do some flash fiction. You all can decide.

    I'm planning my HAPPY STARS WARS DAY. I'll watch Rogue One and cry all over again. I'll wear Star Wars stuff and eat. It sounds like fun.

    And this is really completely unrelated to anything here BUT GUYS SPIDERMAN HOMECOMING COMES OUT IN LIKE 3 MONTHS MAYBE A LITTLE LESS AND I AM SO FLIPPING EXCITED AND GUYSSSSSS. I am totally not freaking out okay? I'm also dressing up so there's that. I'm just really excited. And I'm excited about Thor but I had mixed feelings about the trailer and yeah. We can talk about that another time. Also the Star Wars trailer. So many good things happening. 
    [wahahaha gif spam for you] 

    SO HOW DID CAMP GO FOR EVERYONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? And how was your month? Any new music? Books? Tell me all. 


    stories are powerful.

    hey hey hey. I'm here today to sort of fangirl and talk a bit about stories and their power and maybe go off on my YA rant again. It'll be fun because this post includes Les Mis and Lord of the Rings.

    Stories are powerful. Some aren't that good. Some suck and are insults to the true stories. the ones that really matter. But there are a ton of good stories out in the world. A lot of them are classics. I love classics. I absolutely love the Iliad and man I read that thing and just love it so much. Then there are the non-classic stories that I love and rant about.
    But seriously.
    A story can change a person. This isn't a long or profound post. It isn't really anything but me fangirling over stories. But that's ok.

    [it's fuzzy but it fits] 

    Les Miserables. I've watched Les Mis (1998 version. I won't go with any other version.) twice this week. Once with my mom and once with a friend. And there is like no fandom for the older movie?  It took me a long time to find that gif below so enjoy it. I can't find any others. Nothing. At. All. (To appease my obsession. Precious.)

    Both times I've watched it have hit me hard and man. Feels and emotions and just realizing that this is the type of story I want to be told all the time. Forgiveness and love and redemption. Sometimes the end is gritty and something doesn't work out for someone but that's okay. Some people finally gte to fly free and live in peace and that is just beautiful. And the whole thing with Fantine and Valjean ah, my heart melts and it's so sweet. He treats her like a queen and just yes.
    When the firing squad lines up and the victims are crying and screaming 'To the Republic!' it makes me want to cry. People fighting for what they love and believe in. They weren't anyone special. Just a bunch of poor students and others who wanted freedom. It wasn't this chosen one girl who rebelled because she wanted attention and the tall dark and handsome. It wasn't the dark mysterious guy who was just being downright annoying and gosh please stop wooing all the girls in your path. (I already did a nice long rant/complaint about YA books and you can read that if you want.) I'm not going to start off on it again. But these are the stories I love. The ones that have real values and aren't saturated with selfish characters. Ordinary people doing these things that might not make a large impact-- maybe it does-- but they fought for something larger than themselves.

    [ah yes] 
    Maybe one day I'll write a giant post about Les Mis and the book (which I am almost done with) and everything. I'm just in love with it all. 

    Lord of the Rings. Yes, I have a life, write and do school. I LOVE LORD OF THE RINGS SO MUCH. I watched Two Towers over the weekend. I was actually quoting ( and possibly acted out some) the whole first like 15 minutes by heart and my brother came in to make sure everything was ok. But it reminded me of this again. Ths whole thing about stories being powerful and fighting for what you believe in. 
    There were Frodo and Sam. Sam didn't have to keep going with Frodo. Sam saw how he was suffering from the weight of his burden and how he needed his help and that's the kind of friend I want. The ones that stick through the hard times. Yeah some YA movie adaptions might have things like this but again self-centered. Ooops, sorry. I'm starting again. Yeah some YA books/movie adaptions have good themes-- but I see it pouring out in these. I don't know. These are classics and I think they have high standards. I make high standards after watching/reading these things.

    Then how about Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli? They fought alongside men they didn't agree with. The odds were stacked against them but they still wanted to fight so at least they tried their best. yeah maybe they didn't do anything big and they don't have to because the whole story/trilogy is focused on fighting darkness and just pushing and pushing through. And these three can be really funny at times. And it didn't have to be bad humor. Just a short guy who couldn't see what was coming to kill him.
    Image result for gimli get box gif
    Then there's Merry and Pippin who are desperately trying to get the Ents to fight against the dark forces. They want to fight and well yeah they can but they are short adorable things who sing and dance on pub tables. Those two recognize a need and want to fight even if it means dying for it.

    But one of my favorite parts (besides the battles and the ents and everything really) is at the end when Sam gives his speech to Frodo. He gives Frodo the strength to keep going. And it's beautiful.
    It's a true friend and a true hero.

    I don't know. This was just one giant ramble about LOTR and Les Mis. But if that makes any sense to anyone (besides me haha)-- it's the whole story thing. It doesn't have to be preachy, filled with garbage, or just..... man. I'm just wordless right now.
    Camp has really drained me. Of words and everything. I'm sure we can all relate. Hopefully. Or I'm just really tired. (blame the books.)

    I was going to include Rogue One in here because it fits soooooo well but May 4th is coming upon of and guys I have a Rogue One post ready to celebrate Star Wars day and ALL THE HYPE STAR WARS AHHHHHHH. I am really excited. I'm re-watching the movie May 4th and possibly dressing up as Bodhi Rook because I can. I am really excited as you can tell.

    But this was a weird post. Not much closure here. No nice question at the end. I just wanted to talk about these stories a tiny bit. 

    all the music // new things

    hello all. I usually talk about books and writing and fangirl about Marvel things-- but today I'm here to talk about music.
    [i feel like it would be really cool to play drums....]
    Music is one of my favorite things to talk about forever and ever yes drop the mic. Actually, wait I'm going to talk a little more. I admire people who can play with amazing talent. I own two guitars, two different amps, and a ukulele. I can play. I love listening. I'm just obsessed (with the usual switchfoot, twenty one pilots, relient k, and some others). And I branch out with what I listen to. But these past few weeks I've been hoarding all the good things.

    [yes i've used this in a past post. fight me.]
    I want to share all these albums I've been listening to. I've been listening to loads and loads of new music (some I like. some just eh.) and wanted to make a giant list. It's just a wild mix of everything. A nice random list for you today.

    i forgot where we were 

    I could talk about so many good things. First of all his talent with the guitar is just..... watch this for that. And his voice and everything. (and one of my fav songs is Small Things) I just love this whole album and everything. All his music actually. Just go listen and come back so we can talk. 

     out of the wasteland  

    I might be going to see Switchfoot this summer (again yes again I loveeeeeee Switchfoot). They are the opening band and I thought it would be good to pre-listen you know-- so if/when I do go I can sing along to all the things. They aren't my favorite thing in the world..... but it's good. 

    little wind 

    Let me just say folk. I love folk. (and then there's the punk rock side of me and it's strange). But it's very soothing and meaningful. 


    Sit down a minute and let me tell you about this. Okay, first of all, Tyler Joseph is featured in like four of the songs and that in itself is a winning feature, right? And Josh Dun does some of the drum stuff. And it's really cool. Those are pretty good reasons to go check this thing out. (you can look at it all here cause you really need to) 

    ghost of a king

    More folky sounding stuff. Always good. It reminds me of fantasy.

    rogue one soundtrack 

    Hey hey hey. It isn't all John Williams (the stars wars music master) but it's really good and makes me want to cry at the end when you know what happens. And May fourth will bring forth (hahahaha I am so funny. not) a really big Rogue One post so stay tuned. 


    All these songs are sci-fi sounding and man I love sci-fi. The cover is.... just look look look at it. Precious. It sounds like hardcore space battles and stars and space things. I don't know why I never heard of this before? 

    stay alive

    Not really an album..... just some music someone put to Tyler Joseph talking for like 40 seconds. But hey HOW WAS I GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH A POST ABOUT MUSIC WITHOUT TWENTY ONE PILOTS COMING UP LIKE 11 TIMES?! Anyways it's really cool and nice. Idk. I might be way too obsessed. (it's commentary that's the word I'm looking for but it's on Spotify so there)

    Anyways that's just my list of new things I've been binge-listening to. If you have any recommendations for me throw them all. I like new music. Love it. (and if you are an avid stalker you can stalk my music here)
    Anyways. Just my musical journey of snatching all the good stuff. (and I had no idea what to do for a post Tuesday then I forgot about it. So here. Randomness.) AND HOW IS CAMP GOING? 

    #feels for you // einarr snippets

    Heyo all. So. Camp Nano. We are two weeks in and...........
    Anyways I'm just here-- your friendly writer kid-- with some snippets that are more or less sad and emotional and man. It's a super soldier story. Don't judge the whole story with these. I did go through quickly and edit some tiny things but ignore any mistakes. Or tell me. I honestly don't care. 

    [actual footage of camp insane writing]

    You may wonder 

    "Hannah, what is Einarr about?" 

    Wellllllll I'm glad you asked me. (no really, pretend you did) I have a post I did on it here but I'm going to throw the synopsis up here again because I really like it. Except for my awkward ending but yo. It's alright. 

    The war between the Scandinavian countries has been the cause of shed blood for decades-- but it all suddenly ends with bombs dropped on quiet cities leaving the countries silent.
    Halvard joined the war with hopes of being a hero, but instead of saving others, he becomes the victim of one of the bombs-- the poster child of the war-- and is brought to a hospital to be healed.
    The people in the hospital intend to fix Halvard, but with their own methods of experiments and other horrid things that make him not able to breath when he looks in the mirror and see's the boy who left to fight and hasn't returned because he's a lab rat. A failed experiment.
    Closets and little nooks provide safety from the world screaming in terror as Halvard tries to heal in a place where healing is nonexistent-- but death is. 
    Then him, another soldier, and this girl escape to do rebellious things and (insert some wonderful synopsis ending here blurp)

    I actually think it might need a sequel (but that isn't like there like yes for sure yet). But really it's all soldier stuff and war stab-ness and jeeps and mental illness things. It's really not all that depressing but I'm only 20k in and I haven't got to the good nice and somewhat happy parts yet. So this is what I got. Plus these parts are from the military and the hospital. Anyways-- I'm just ranting now and here are your snippets. 

    [this is how it starts. this whole mess]

    [my poor child] 

    [he tries to get friends and hope but nope. not now. also, ooops wrong font] 

    [aw no]

    [hm. tried playing around with weird formatting in a few little parts. does it make sense?]

    Anyways. I was going to do week updates but then it included subtracting word counts and doing this and that and this and that and guys. If you've known me for a bit you know I hate math and am very busy so. 
    I'll just tell you I've got a little over 20k under my belt and that'll be it. And hey, snippets are fun too. 

    [well goodbye for now kids]

    (Sorry for the short post and I hope all your words are coming good. How is camp going guys?!?!?) 


    i'm just here to talk about YA

    I'm just here to talk-- not to start any fights on this or to get attention. You know. Sometimes you just need to talk about something and get it out. (I've been wanting to talk about this for a while)

    I say this because there are a ton of issues. Yes, I am the girl who reads mostly/all YA and it makes up a giant part of what I consume as a reader.
    But quite frankly-- I'm tired of it. I'm not tired of the section in itself. YA books are important to their audience. Teen needs stories that will give them hope, and light to follow, and power. They should be inspiring. Inspiring in a good way to do good things.

    I feel like most YA books instead are causing teens to focus on their emotions and their dreams and how they can save the post-apocalyptic world from disease stricken zombies. It's not sacrificial..... it's not what we should aspire to be as a person. I don't know.

    I love YA but I'm here to talk about some issues I see.

    #diversity isn't working with me. Now now now guys. Don't stop here and assume things. Just listen for a moment. I'm not here saying that diversity in books isn't important because it is. Different races, countries, views, etc are super super good to have. But--  from what I've seen with all this, it seems like all this diversity being put into books/stories is included because that's what is being demanded.

    It's no longer about quality or the message but "hello is this book providing enough diverse characters who have differing qualities whether physical, emotional, or political to satisfy the audience?" The demand for diversity seems to cause the author to have the themes and quality as a side thing.

    As a writer of YA let me tell you now I DON'T WRITE BOOKS BASED ON WHAT PEOPLE WANT, LIKE, OR DEMAND. Other writers shouldn't base their plot on what the YA bookworms want.
    If I did that, I never would have written The Sand Song because I pitched it and guess what-- dystopia wasn't popular at the time (and still isn't the biggest and best) so they didn't want it. They rejected it. (it was also a first draft mess but that is beside the point)

    If everyone wrote what people wanted it would be a mess. Diversity doesn't need to be put in so the diverse groups of the world are satisfied. If someone isn't writing the book you want to read the right way, then guys go write the book yourself. If you feel led to put that certain trait in go for it. But I don't think it should be forced in.

    Creative minds should express what's within the original idea and not what people are inserting/demanding/or complaining about.

    Yeah, there are people including diversity in their books because they want to and it works/fits. But to me, it's mostly this invisible checklist that God forbid if you have all white characters everything is ruined and suddenly it's not inclusive and man. I hate that checklist.
     This agenda that has to be followed. (and when the agenda is going against the Bible and what I believe I hate that too. One example is the new Beauty and the Beast but I don't want to argue/talk about that right now.)

    Let me clear this up again just so I'm clear you know? That was a strange sentence but whatever. I'm all for diversity with race and politics and not just having the typical characters but I hate the checklist and the way it lowers the quality and themes in books.

    The characters. The chosen one protagonist who has these special qualities. The cute/somewhat bookish/also hipster boy who's hormone driven and super selfish. The sixteen-year-old girl who's going to dominate the rebel group and lead them to some victory while agonizing over two guys (usually blonde hair blue eyes and the Mr. tall dark and handsome with the voice that can melt chocolate what even). There's the bad boy with tattoos going everywhere with that 'innocent' smile who everyone is drawn to because of the gray morality and all that junk.

    YA books glorify bad behavior, drinking, smoking, sex, and curse words for no reason. There is no reason to glorify those things.
    It's not cool. There are consequences.

    And what you read affects you. So if all these teens are picking up these books saturated with bad content that doesn't make them want to do better and actually achieve something higher than the world's standards why are they there? Entertainment? To read out of boredom? (Yes books are for entertainment but we should be reading stuff that actually means something. Not pointless words to fill our heads.)

    I look up to characters. I'm sure every other book reader does too. But what do we do when we are given characters that aren't good role models? Those gritty ones that make us cringe when we read that scene or even the whole book.

    People want teens to do better and rise higher than the stereotypical young adult-- but how can they do that when they are being fed this junk?

    (I'm not answering these now cause they are whole blog posts in themselves. Maybe another time. They're just there for me to think. You to think.)

    [renner is how i feel about YA sometimes] 
    Teens are being underestimated and not called to a higher standard of living. All the books I see aren't about being a hero, stepping up to what's right even if you're the only one, of even giving of yourself. 
    It's not about helping others and sacrifice-- it's all do what I want to do and let me follow my feelings and hey let's see how that works out and there might be consequences but at least I lived in the moment and had some fun. 

    We say YA is important for teens but I don't see a whole ton of effort being put into the book's authors produce to empower them to do better. I just wanted to get some of these thoughts out 1) because we need to consider this stuff and really think about it and 2) thinking about this inspires me to write good stuff.

    I write good stuff already (good as in clean and not glorifying darkness etc etc etc not patting myself on the back). But this reminds me that we need more of it.

    YA book shelves probably won't change anytime soon. But we can change the shelves (in a roundabout way) with what we write as writers and as readers, with what we choose to consume. We don't need to read the junk out there. We don't need to read the stuff that makes us feel not motivated to do anything good for the world. 

    And there are books out there that are good with good messages and good characters.
    For example Neal Shusterman. (yes yes yes I have talked about Shusterman so many times and I love his books.) I actually got the meet him and it was amazing. 

     He writes amazing books. Amazing. I've said amazing so many times but I don't know how to talk about his books without being so very happy ah.
    They don't have teens that are considered stupid and unable to achieve anything. Unwind tackles the issue of abortion and these teenagers who are fighting for what they believe in do it without being disrespected and degraded. And they don't fight for what they believe in because they want to get attention.
    Connor and Risa and Lev and all the others fight because they believe in something and recognize the need to act on it. They sacrifice themselves for others. They are heroes. They rise above their wants. They rise above their expectations and labels and do something for the big picture.
    It's not: sit back, make out, and wait for the world to crumble. Someday I'll do a while post dedicated to his books because I need to talk about them allllllllll.

    And there are other ones like Lemony Snicket. I didn't grow up with his series and books but after reading them last year it made me so so so happy. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny. Ordinary kids doing extraordinary things without the extra fluff and oh wait chosen one. It showed that life is hard sometimes. For some people all the time. You've got to hang on to what you believe and fight even when it's hard.

    [this is true. and there's always that hope is brought in]
    I guess the whole point of this was to say this: YA isn't bad. I love a lot of the books and ah if you can't find me in the bookstore, look for me in the YA section. I still read it. I still love a lot of it. ( I hope this makes sense?)
    But there are issues with it. There are issues with middle-grade books, adult fiction, Christian fiction. Every place has their issues. But the problem is, the issues in YA are influencing the mindset and behavior of a lot of the readers. Especially non-Christians who consume it.

    I don't think YA will change. There'll be more and more and more junk added. It will always glorify young wild and free go live it up. But we don't have to contribute or consume the junk out there.

    I could talk for a whole lot longer-- but I'll stop now. It's just some (really long) rambles.

    what are some of your favorite YA books and why? (tell me all. any recommendations?)


    dear (a letter for you), keep fighting

    I just want to sit down and talk for a moment-- nothing fancy. Just some thoughts that came in my head. Just some random things. I started writing a completely different post but then it turned to this. 

    Hey you all. 

    I don't know where you live, what your favorite album is, or how you are emotionally right now. 

    I don't know what you like to eat at 12am when word are pouring out or how much time you spend on pinterest. 

    I don't need to know that to say a few words about words. And impact and head things. Just hangaround for a couple seconds. (I'll try not to be too cheesy)

    Because you might be feeling down now. People are changing, moving, and leaving. The words you wanted to write for camp aren't coming out like you thought they would. Maybe you just feel like a lazy/behind/not good enough/put another insult here and beat yourself up. 
    But you don't have to. 
    Let's all internet hug right now cause we all need it plus for us introverts it's non-physical. 


    You're breahting. 
    Here. Take a breath. See? You are here for a reason right now. It's pretty darn cool that you can walk now and look at the sky through your eyes. You can listen your favorite song on a loop and it messes with your brain because music does things like that-- with your emotions. You can smile at someone who might feel the same way about themselves and circulate some love. Smiles and stuff. Your life is a beautiful reality that isn't somthing to over look. Yeah it might sound cheesy but hello guys you are here with reason and purpose. 

    You might look at someone else and think they've got it all together but seriously-- none of us do. 
    We all get nights where there's only five hours of sleep and a half finished book but yo we still have to work, do school, interact, and do the things that need to be done. 

    But it doesn't matter that you've got a creative mess and library books that are due tomorrow. Or that/those assignment(s) that were due yesterday. You are you. You can't have the same schedule, writing capacity, or school load as anyone else. 
    But we've got one thing in common: there are days we feel like everything is going down and we lay face down on the floor thinking abut lyrics and people and life in itself. We all get those mental breakdowns where you cry everyday for a week over some small thing (that you made bigger than it was) that broke your brain and heart a lot. 

    You can handle everything that's thrown at you. We can handle all things thrown at us. It doesn't have to be pinteresty (yes, I love pinning those things but I don't live by them) or perfect aesthetic. 
    It's life. It's messy. 

    Make some tea. 
    Relax your tense brain. Listen to some good music (ahem twenty one pilots). Motivational stuff. Send someone you love a legit letter. Play an insturment. Make a snack. Read a new book. Some poetry. Sing something. 
    Make it through the day one hour one minute one second at a time. 
    You've got this kid. It'll be okay. Keep fighting those things. 

    © furious ever afters . Design by Fearne.