february // fight on

So we've made it through another month of 2017.
I can't believe February is already gone?! Like......... why.

But it was a somewhat productive month for me.

I finally saw Rogue One (which broke my heart into a million tiny pieces then proceeded to blend those pieces up guys it was beautiful. no spoilers but if you asked 'hannah would you have changed the ending?' i would say no. the ending is what made it so beautiful...... it actually made me legit cry. i've never really cried like that in any movies but this one really just feels) Oh goodness I need to watch it again and cry all over again. 

School as always. Seeing baby cousins. Meeting a favorite author. Bullet journaling. Haha more school. 

My February reads were actually really aesthetically pleasing in color. Looking at it makes me happy. THE LUNAR CHRONICLES LET ME FLAIL FOREVER GUYS. And The Unwind Dystology. Actually all of Neal Shusterman's books are amazing. 
I have maybe six books waiting on the library hold shelf so yay for reading. AND I'M READING THE ROGUE ONE BOOK RIGHT NOW AND GUYS I'm holding off because I don't know if I'll survive the end. 

all sorts of things. 

And Deathbed by Relient K. Please go listen now okay? Jon Foreman sings at the end of the song and it makes my heart so happy. 

I started editing The Sand Song. Well I'm going through my printed copy and making soooooo many notes on things that suck. Things that need to change. Things I love. Me flailing..... all that good stuff. 

I'm starting to plot my Camp Nano novel. I'll have a post on it later but pretty much it's a super soldier, dancers, murder, skin tight suits, stars, wounds, and other weird sci-fi things. It's going to be epic. 

I'm also hoping to start up on my Hawkeye screenplay again-- though it might turn into a show because there's wayyyyy too much to stuff in two hours. I love TV shows and I love Hawkeye so it might be fun? Nope it will be fun. And I have some Hawkeye comics waiting at the library yay!!! 

But I've been really busy so not that many creative things going on. 

I talked about me making my book 'The Sand Song' into legit novel (and I flailed a lot).

We had a little chat about creative process and how we are all unique with our ways.

This was a rambling that included Switchfoot, thoughts about the future, and being content. 


And a few tips on being productive featuring my bad pasta puns. 

So how was your month? What's going on? Tell me all. And sorry for the short post xD had to throw it together at the last minute. 

being productive // tips i use for studying and all the other things

I'm a human disaster. You might be too. I can't do pretty notes and reward myself for doing a chunk of school/editing/writing/anything I do. Rewarding myself means me not having self-control and just taking the reward without accomplishing anything. My notes are chicken scratch cause I'm trying to hustle and get everything done.
It's hard being productive when you wake up and feel like everything is gray and ew. But you are breathing today for a purpose so yo we need to get the thing done. But it's hard because sometimes I want to slink away and go do the things I want to do (reading, writing, editing) instead of the things I need to do. These are some things I do to keep me somewhat productive.

[me 80% of the time] 
1. cry
No this isn't a joke. If you're stressed you can't work well. If I'm stressed I can't do anything. I fall into a slump of mindlessly browsing Pinterest and I don't get the thing done. I'll mope around being upset about not being productive but I'm just feeding the laziness and stuff. If you need to cry then cry. If you need to take a shower, write furiously, take your anger out on a punching bag then do it. GET IT ALL OUT. #hannahlifeadvice

2. gather all the things
Mug of tea. Comfy socks. Sweatpants. Good study music. Coffee. Whatever makes it easier for you to get everything done. For me, that's worn in shirts, headphones, my to-do list, and a bunch of pens.
And my spiderman mug since it's my favorite. Also, grab some food: pizza, cake, ice cream, chocolate, pasta. The pastabilities are endless.

[if there were no puns in this post you could say that there was an 'impasta' writing it xD]

3. get the easy things done first
I normally don't think like this. But I've found that it's better to get what you know you can get done quick first so if you do end up getting stuck with the hard stuff you've at least accomplished something. It could get you pumped to do the next thing. I usually feel better after doing this since over at least finished something. Maybe it's doing all the easy lessons in one sitting and spending some quality time with those hard things that make you go crazy. 

4. make many lists
Allllll the lists. I have lists for my weeks worth of work for school. Having a bunch of tiny goals like "write one paragraph of paper" or "tidy desk" or  "drink water" so you can have all that down and at the end of the day and see that you were really productive if you actually got it all completed because you'll have a ton of things crossed out. I've started a bullet journal and it's kept me really organized. I have one for school assignments and the other for everything else under the sun. I really love it. (though mine doesn't have those pretty drawings and stuff... I tried and ended up ripping pages out). I guess mine is more minimalist which I actually like a lot now since it's blunt and not to busy.
[nexts weeks spread] 

5. multitask
Some people can't multitask. I can't when it is cleaning + a tv show and my mom will confirm that-- but when it's school and other things I can. I've been listening to an audiobook and studying whenever I can. I find it easier to have two things to focus on instead of doing one thing that'll drive me crazy staring at it. You know those things that make you want to stab your eyeball with a blunt pencil? Yep. Those things. (I wouldn't recommend that) When I'm doing something tough/stressful it's easier when I have music playing.
But watching a show while editing or listening to podcasts when you're jogging...... or even watching a show while you're studying? I have yet to do this since shows and movies usually take all my attenttion. Doing two things at once let's you get more things done. (Thanks captain obvious) Even if it's listening to music while you're wading through science notes or a chapter for school. 

6. find a friend 
A friend who isn't afraid of telling you to get off the couch and get working. Someone who can bully you into being productive. Kind of like a life coach who is constantly pushing you or texting you in all caps to do the thing. Someone who won't let you get distracted on Pinterest/watching Twenty One Pilots interviews....... which I obviously don't do. 
*heavy sarcasm in use* 
But study with that friend. Quiz each other. Make it a competition and race to see who can memorize the fastest. And friends are really useful because if you're doing the same thing (biology, algebra, etc.) y'all can do this with the same info. FIND A WAY. 

Maybe these aren't for you. maybe you can't relate to any of these but we all have ways to get things done. Maybe it's aesthetic-less and messy but GETTING IT DONE IS WHAT MATTERS.
So go be productive this week with whatever methods you use.

How are you productive? What do you do when you fall in a slump of laziness? 

in which hannah goes to a book signing

So I told y'all before that I had a bookish post ready. So here is a collection of thoughts and me screaming. 

So last Wednesday, I got to go to my very first book signing FOR THE SCYTHE TOUR WITH NEAL SHUSTERMAN. 

I had been wanting to go for like two months and was so excited (like the gif). Turns out it was actually a bit over an hour away instead of 30 minutes because guess who mixed up the cities ooops. But I don't regret any of it. (also my wonderful family trekked along and my dad sat with me and listened) Scythe is one of my favorite books ever. Actually all of Neal Shusterman's book are the best ever. 
His writings have been such a large inspiration to my own and yo this was actually happening.
I had no clue what to expect at a book signing. I practically ran in -- a few minutes late -- because traffic and such. I wasn't expecting to run in and see Neal Shusterman right there and like me accidentally run into him. Even if I would have, I probably would started freaking out and like ramble or something. But I slipped in just as a lady was giving an introduction. 
It was so cool getting to see the person behind all the words you love. AH GUYS. So cool. 
me + neal after he signed all five books i brought and i asked him a few questions and such
He talked about his very first book he wrote when he was about 18 or 19 and how each new book he wrote was a stepping stone to get to the next book. Each new work gave him to knowledge and experience to produce something better the next time. He went over the inspiration for a bunch of his books, answered questions, and almost knocked his root beer over. xD

I was almost the last person in line which I figured was good since I had like 5 books with me while everyone else had maybe 2 plus I got to talk with him for the little bit of time it took for him to sign my beauties. I was afraid at first because THERE WAS SO MUCH I WANTED TO SAY in that minute or two. But it was good. So I got five of his book signed. (I wanted to bring the whole Unwind Dystology but NONE OF MY BAGS WERE BIG ENOUGH and I had no clue if they'd let me bring 9 books) 

 I asked him which cover was his favorite and he said Scythe so that's a fun fact you y'all. It was awesome hearing him speak and read from Scythe. (I am also very very very excited about book two Thunderhead)

I wish I had gotten more photos but guess who was fangirling......? Me. 

But it was awesome (yes I've said this a million times) being able to meet him and hear about his creative life. We have to surround ourselves with creative people to inspire us. I actually told him that he's inspired so many good things in my own writings and he wrote 'keep on writing' in one of the books. (now I am inspired to do all the things) It was an amazing experience and I really want to go to more book signings now. 

Have any of you been to a book signing? Ever read any Shusterman books? AND IF YOU HAVE LET'S SCREAM TOGETHER AND AHHHHH THE AWESOMENESS. 

where i belong

"i want to be an author. a creative person. i want to write marvel movies and netflix shows" 

"i want to change lives with words" 

"i want to be someone people look up to" 

"i want to do something meaningful" 

"i want to be i want to be i want to be i want to be" 

i had another (bookish) post ready but y'all can read that tuesday cause i want to talk about something on my mind.

we might not be where we want to be right now. i might not be where i want to be -- a sixteen year old who's thinking thinking thinking about the future and what it holds.
what part i'll play in the big scheme of things. the sixteen year old who wants to have connections and do something that matters. i'm the kid who wants to make music, write weird sci-fi and enjoy life. i get worried about what's next. if i'll ever do something worth it. if i'm where God wants me to be.

we all can get pulled into this cycle of what if. and what's next. five tired fingers and a dream that looks blurry and grim. insert an endless loop of anxiety with the volume on high and that's what you get for the night.
but the season i'm in is where i am supposed the be. i am here for a reason. the season you are in is where you are supposed to be. you are here for a reason. maybe it sounds cheesy but it's important.

there will be so many years and opportunities to take before i am what i want to be. it might be a long long time before my dreams roll out and come alive. there are stepping stones that take me to the next mile marker. and then i'll do it all over again and again and again till i'm at the end looking back.

right now is where we should be living.
we can get anxiety about the future. we can worry about things. we can create more what if's.

right now i'm not the most productive. i may look productive here on the blog but honestly i'm not. i want to edit my book but i can't for a couple weeks cause i'm drowning under school. i want to write a screenplay and become a self proclaimed expert in all the marvel things. but life happens and things don't go the way I want them to go.

i'm not notable. i can't hold onto everything i want to be. everything i want to do. maybe you're like that too. trying to juggle everything with your hands tied up behind your back.
but holding onto everything isn't our job.
that's God's job. He's the one who holds everything. it doesn't matter if we can get all those things done. what matters is that we are living this season of life the best we can.


we are here temporarily. us being discontent with where we are isn't using that time wisely. we have one shot. our body is a rental. we've got to do what we can while we can. 

if we keep waiting for the right time, it'll never come. you'll be sitting in the same seat five years down the road waiting for the clock to strike. tens years down the road waiting and waiting because that perfect time is never going to come. we are waiting and waiting but the hand on the clock is stuck. we are stuck in this rut of nervousness and nothing will ever move forward. the perfect time is now where you are. it's the perfect time to take what you've got and make something beautiful out of it.

(are you lost? i'm losing myself)

current mood: punching all those bad thoughts and anxiety things 

this moment is important. the place you are in now. everything you do is important. but it's still hard waiting for what we really want. it's hard waiting for the thing we look forward to the most.

maybe who i want to be is just around the corner. but God's clock is running. it's not going to stop for us to sit and pout cause we aren't in 'this place doing that thing'.

we can't hit fast forward. we can't skip anything. hustling isn't an option. our job is to be who God wants us to be. growing growing growing. we have to grow into what God wants us to be and what we want to be will fall in place since it'll line up with His plan. 
so take a deep breath. be content with where you are. there's a plan. a purpose. this is where you belong. 
this is where i belong. 

okay, this doesn't go with the post that much but this is an awesome song so go listen 

just some (cheesy and a bit repetitive) rambles + rambling nonsense for your saturday. how are you all? also NEW HEADER YAY! the other one was kind of blurry and it was bothering me xD i like it a lot better. 

creative process

Sometimes I look at the Pinterest-y desks that are super clean and planners with the day all planned out to the very last minute and feel kind of bleh. The standard creative process online kind of scares me.
Because it's one box that everyone tries to fit inside.
And we are all different. Those tips, tricks, and ideas aren't meant for everybody.
The Creative process is essentially how you do the thing.

I've been asking myself "What is my process?" "How do I create?" "What is the next step?"

I have the attention span of a small puppy who jumps around and does so many different things.
I have goals and when I actually get to them, I get them done. I can write with a process. But yo when it comes to all the creative endeavors I either jump around and never get anything done or stay super committed and you don't see me for three days.
I realize I don't have an exact map to being creative and doing creative things. I don't have an exact creative process. One minute I'm mixing sounds on garage band and the next I'm slamming a thousand words down onto a weird sci-fi book.
One day I'm writing a whole commentary type thing by me on a book of the Bible and the next day is spent wading through all the things and I'm left with no time for anything. I don't try to get ready for the day. I wear worn-in shirts and sweatshirts and bang my head trying to figure out how to get all the things done.
Sometimes I outline first. Halfway through. At the end. I word-vomit and have a mess to edit because IT'S A BIG MESS OF CREATIVE THINGS. Like right now. I have no clue where this post is going but it'll all work out hopefully......

I don't have a morning schedule where I make a mug of tea and sit down at my aesthetically pleasing desk and crank out 5k before I begin my day.
My desk is always messy with papers and notebooks. Library books and pens.
 I don't need that to get things done.

I've realized that everyone has their different process to making art. Mine is sporadic and 70% organized if that makes sense. Yours might be scheduled. It might be messy. Clean and done. Procrastinated and confusing.
But perfection in our process isn't what we should be looking for. We shouldn't be comparing ourselves to the things we see. To other people.
What comes out is what matters. 

Some things motivate me. Other things just make me want to huddle and hide from responsibilities.

There are so many things saying "Wake up early." "Start being productive at 6am and get all the things done."
Yo. I can't function before 8 must of the time. I'm not that person. You might be that person and that's okay.
I could be up at midnight typing away. I could be scribbling ideas in the car on a discarded paper. I could be writing an epic action scene on my phone.

Don't try to squeeze into a box you don't belong it. Don't try to be any different than you are.
If you like composing music on a strict schedule do it.
If you like writing 4 chapters throughout the day in between school assignments do it.
If you can only work at midnight then do that.
If you can't write poems during an aesthetically pleasing sunset then do it after dark.
If you like painting at odd hours then do it.

We each borrow from the inspiration of another. We only reframe what others have spoken. And so we must be careful not to take ourselves too seriously.
When you're tempted to think that you have little worth or nothing of value to offer, remember this: We're meant to write, sing, sculpt, design, craft, parent, clean, and study in our own way. No one else's. We aren't duplicators; we're interpreters. The goal is never to live someone else's life. We're meant to give back to the world out of our own stories, whatever that may be. 

YOU DON'T NEED TO FIT INSIDE SOMEONE ELSE'S CREATIVE PROCESS. We are all different and that's cool. That's good.
If we were all the same in creating art we would all be very boring. So let's all find our own process and embrace it. Take what works for you, and build you creative time around it.

You don't want any set backs or slump times.

So just get everything out and make something beautiful.
what's your creative process? do you not have one? DO YOU CRY? EAT? WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET YOUR WORDS OUT? Also the quote is from a really good book that you should read. 



So a few months ago, I saw Katie from A Writer's Faith do this to her books AND THEY CAME OUT SO PRETTY. So a week or so back I went ahead and ordered my first draft of Scarlet from LuLu for editing. And guys, everyone should do this because it is the most amazing feeling holding your books and your hands and hjakldfjhsk.





and the dates xD also i didn't like any of my blurbs so yeah

Okay. You are probably thinking a couple thoughts right now. Okay. maybe a lot.


"Oh it's very good looking. (or ew because the cover is not the best)"

"What, this is so cool!" 

Okay. So we will start with the title. It was originally Scarlet. Well...... after getting through writing book one comepletely and sort of starting book two I realized this isn't going to be a trilogy (The Sand Song Trilogy to be exact). It's going to be more like a duology type thing.
So that was that.
Well during my second read through just to get a feel of the mess, I created the whole connection thing with the title didn't fit. It wasn't there and I didn't like that element anymore. That might not make sense but whatever. It wasn't working.
Well, that's when the new name came up. Actually, it was just me taking the trilogies name and making it the title. The second book (which was called Fulvous before this train wreck of ideas) now has a new title. A title I think I'm using but I'm not 100% sure.
It's The Rusted Note.
Anyways. That all happened. The new title just clicks with me and the sotry now and it makes me happy. :')

So it was somewhat easy/cheap was it to make these.
It cost about $5 to do a 290-page book from LuLu. Yes, it's only 290 pages I THOUGHT IT WAS LONGER. But hey during the edits I've done so far, I have added so many new things and expanded on old things so my next draft should be larger. The cover was what took me the longest because of measurements ew. It's actually kind of heavy for being so small.
I was really excited when they came in. I got two copies: one for editing in and one for memories so I can look back after draft two and see my progress. It took a little over a week to get to me.

This is something I'll definitely be doing for other drafts and books. Plus you can throw this and get angry during editing and not have to worry about breaking your laptop. xD

there's also some weird things in here...... like things that need names ugh. So much editing.

After I get this mess done with a second draft and some rewriting (because I hate legit hate 75% of it) I will probably be asking for beta readers yay!!! Most likely, that'll be around June...... but don't hold your breath on that. 
If I can edit this thing. And I am actually excited about editing with this BECAUSE I CAN THROW IT AND GET ANGRY AND WRITE AND SCRIBBLE OVER THE PARTS THAT MAKE ME SCREAM. 

And in honor of the new title and such, I made a brand new and revised Pinterest board here so you can check that out if you want. Also a playlist here. (lol just over here self promoting xD)

GUYS. Do you want to do this with your book? Have you done it? Do you like the new title? Also on a completely unrelated note, TWENTY ONE PILOTS HAS A MUSIC VIDEO THAT CAME OUT YESTERDAY FOR HEAVYDIRTYSOUL AND IT'S SO SO GOOD. You can watch that here RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WOW

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